Peggy's Prudent Pointers for Perfect PartneringRule #1 "Safety first”
1a. Know you and your partner's own physical limits. Don't do dances that are more than both of you have coordination and strength for. Wear safe and stable shoes to dance. ie. not overly high heels you can hardly balance on, flexible and soft soles. 1b. Do not step on your partner’s foot! (or anyone else's) The most common, and well-founded, fear of all social dancers is to step on one’s partner’s feet. Intention is not the issue. No one I’ve ever, ever danced with has WANTED to do, that, but their awareness of how NOT to, and sensitivity to their partner is the question. The Answer: Technique! Knowing where your feet and legs are supposed to go, and then putting them in the right place. IF in doubt, Start by giving your partner plenty of legroom, and don’t take big steps toward your partner. But ironically, one of the best ways to not step on feet is just the opposite, in smooth and standard dancing, the closer the partner’s legs are, the more you know where your partner’s are, and can feel them and can step more between each other’s legs and thus avoid stepping ON each other’s feet, Another way is to avoid painful pedi-collision is to wear soft soled and flexible shoes. Thus during your inevitable misstep, you can feel the contact with your partners' foot immediately and not step hard, and the result is not so damaging. To go along with that, is to take measured, careful steps, just like backing a car out, so that any misstep can be quickly re-directed and the partner has time to escape before danger descends. 1c. Do not twist your partner’s arm, pinch their hand, knock knees, whack their jaw with your elbow, or misuse any other body part. [See Answer 1a. above:] again, I say, TECHNIQUE! LEADERS: Men often have more arm strength than women (although I could probably win a few arm wrestling matches with some of you guys...) so you must be CAREFUL to not hurt your partner! Soft and Light touch! Correct leading is COMMUNICATION, not pushing, shoving, forcing! Give her a choice. Not forcing but gently leading.Communicate clearly , using either or both verbally and in body language. Sensitivity and awareness of your partner, and their preferences. Many people, men and women, have fragile shoulders, arms, legs, etc., so we want to be careful with new partners to not offend or harm. Curb Your Enthusiasm when it overwhelms your partner. Most partners are very considerate but there are sometimes a few insensitive ones who feel that if they are enjoying themselves, their partner must be too. Likewise, followers, if your leader is hurting you, please speak up. They usually don't realize it. Many beginners are not even aware of what their hands and feet are doing while they focus on learning one aspect of the dance, so gracefully help them learn! Be kind but clear. Everyone, if anyone is hurting you , best to tell them directly, without unduly embarrassing them. But if you can't tell them, then tell a teacher who can intervene and prevent future harm. 1d. Steer safely around other dance traffic. Most of you drive cars, right? So look around you, plan ahead. Whoever is the leader must lead safely around the other dancers too. This is called floorcraft and it is essential! If you can't do this safely, then either go in the center of the floor for dances in place, or find a secluded corner where you are out of the way of other traffic to practice. OK enough scolding, those of you reading this are probably not the ones needing it anyway. But once you have assurance that you are treating your partner safely, then dance with confidence and have a blast! Happy Dancing! --Peggy next issue-- Rule #3 – develop a boring a routine
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